D-Nast’s Top 10 Mean Girls Quotes

In honor of Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL this weekend AND in honor of my good friend, Smashley’s b-day here is D-NAST’s top 10 MEAN GIRLS quotes!

10.  “Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

9.  “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons… but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!”

"Was I the new queen bee?"

8.  “Amber D’Alessio. She made out with a hot dog.”

7.  “She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.”

6.  “And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.”

"Is butter a carb?"

5.  “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”

4.  “Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you’re going to drink I’d rather you do it in the house.”

3.  “Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.”

2.  “I gave him everything… I was half a virgin when I met him!”

1.  “FOUR for you Glenn Coco! You go Glenn Coco!”

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