A Very Gay July!

Been very very busy my friends! I’ve been around town doing, well you know, being gay. Last weekend I got my Fourth of July partying started early with my good friend Smashley.  The paps spotted us all over the place. On Sunday we visited the SoWa Open Market in the South End where I harassed some Asian cake truck (Cakeology) and played cornhole (not the dirty version, but the actual game).

Then on the actual 4th we saw that shit show of a film, Ted. Which was slightly disappointing because the scene I was an extra in was brutally cut from the film like Seth MacFarlane’s foreskin. After that disappointment I basically spent the rest of the day guzzling Harpoons and housing a couple bowls of guacamole. Let me just say, that combination was not a pretty sight the next morning.

Then this past weekend, Smashley and I, took a drive up to lil old Maine for an 80s Booze Cruise on the Casco Bay. We stayed at a friend’s place where I got dry humped and 69’d by an overly horny mutt and Smashley spent her time hidden in the back bedroom with her copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Slut.

While in Maine we also went on a hunt for the ultimate Whoopie Pie …which we found at Two Fat Cats (best name ever). By the way, the true key to my heart is through an old fashioned Maine Whoopie Pie. I ate three.

And since I can’t stay ten minutes away from a beer we also toured the Shipyard Brewery. While on the tour I proceeded to follow around a slew of Maine d-bag do mes and accidentally drenched myself with a dark stout.

P.S. I’m going to buy all my beers in Maine from now on as they’re cheap as fuck up there! On the booze cruise they were 4 for $14. Talk about a cheap slut date.

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