Category Archives: D-Nast VLOG

How to Make Cupcakes (Gayly)

So moist, so juicy. He want that cake cake cake cake cake.

 

Hello D-Nasters and Happy Easter!

I hope you found some eggs in some really weird places this morning. I certainly had a few pastel ones wedged here and there.

Anywho, I made you a special treat today…some red velvet cupcakes, a D-Nast specialty. I’ve even decided to let you in on my little secret as to how I get them so red, moist, and fluffy. Watch below to learn how.

 

 
Also, in the words of Rihanna’s blazin new single:

“It’s not even my birthday, but he wanna lick the icing off. I know you want it in the worst way, can’t wait to blow my candles out. He want that …cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake.”

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Sitting on the Stratosphere! Please.

I'm gonna die.

Today I decided to get super nasty and I sat on the Stratosphere. Well, not really, but I DID go on all of it’s thrill rides. And then I gave it a thrill ride of my own, if you know what I mean. I think INSANITY (pictured to the left) was the scariest of the three rides. I had to throw my underwear out once off the ride. It was such a pain. Sans panties, I got chaffing from my jeans walking on the strip after that.

Apart from the sharting, I’m happy my shit-faced ass didn’t puke on any of the rides. Although, I did burp up a few seafood buffet mixed with cheap margarita tasting juices into the back of my throat a few times. Note to self: no seafood buffet before going on extreme rides. How is my drunk ass supposed to make smart decisions like that though when I’m in Vegas? I can’t have the beauty and the brains all at the same time. Well, actually since I do have the beauty of a giraffe and the vocal range of a hyena, maybe I should have a few more brains mixed in with this safari mess. But whatevs, I’m just being Miley. Kisses!

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Playing the Sluts

Stiiiiiiiiiiill drunk. And still in Vegas. A self-proclaimed gambling slut (not really) I’ve taken on as many Vegas sluts slots as I possibly can. My favorite machines  are any of the cat-related ones (obvs) and there are thousands of those here. From “Jungle Cats” to my ALL-TIME favorite “KITTY GLITTER.” I don’t think any slut machine can ever top Kitty Glitter. It seriously has it all: a shit ton of pristine bitchy kitties and each pussy is rocking a bunch of glowing precious jewels. Fluffy white long-hairs with sparkly white diamond collars. Heaven! Geoffrey Whiskerbottoms belongs in this game. On second thought tho, I think his game would most likely be “Demon Hunters.

Even though I haven’t won big (yet), Kitty Glitter keeps me entertained enough that I haven’t realized the thousands tens of dollars I’ve spent. My favorite Kitty Glitter slut is located in the Palms (owned by that hooker from The Real Housewives. Which one you ask? I don’t know, aren’t they all hookers?) and I’ve spent a good five dollars there. Woo!

Random P.S. I’m obsessed with Dave Franco.

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Las Vegas Better Known As Las Crazies

I arrived in Vegas last night around 7:00 PM to about 7 messages from concerned friends. “Were you on that insane flight with the pilot foaming at the mouth and running up and down the aisles?!”  And thank the heavens all mighty, I was NOT! But I have been laughing all morning about the story. That shit cray. However, everything else about Vegas is cray too. I’ve officially renamed Las Vegas to Las Crazies. I’ve seen more fanny packs in the last 12 hours than there are vowels in this post.  Not to mention 1 out of 5 old people here are hauling around an oxygen tank with them while in the smoke filled casinos. I better not blow up due to some old hag’s slot machine addiction.

My favorite moment thus far was when I was riding a shuttle from the airport to the car rental hub. I was sitting next to a bald professional man, most likely in his late 50s, aggressively messaging on his blackberry. Being the nosey bitch that I am, I was quite thrilled to see that the message subject was “STD.”  Hahahaha, what an old dog. I continued to read the long-winded message that repeated “it was an accident” at least 3 times and let out a brief snort while sitting next to him. Made my hellish travels worth it. I can’t wait to continue people watching all day. People watching here is hilarious …better than any Cirque du Soleil shows that’s for sure.

Check out my first Vegas VLOG update!

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