Tag Archives: birthdays

No Beyonce? Solange for your birthday!

SolangeFor a gay’s 29th 25th special day there’s only one thing he could possibly want: Beyonce. That hair, those moves, that strut. Unfortunately for me, Diva’s not in town for February 19, 2013. So I did what any self-respecting/desperate gay would do, I bought tickets to go see Solange. That’s right, Daddy’s getting close to the Knowles’ DNA tonight at Paradise Rock Club in Boston.

Now Solange is certainly no Mrs. Carter, but to give credit where credit’s due she has established herself as more relevant than Michelle Williams in recent years. So girl should be proud.

No, all kidding aside, Solange has actually developed quite the delicious indie music career. And if you don’t believe me then check out her 2008 songs I Decided and Sandcastle Disco for yourself. In fact, I’m actually super excited to see the younger Knowles tonight, especially to hear her perform new single, Losing You, which was featured on the season 2 premiere of (D-Nast’s new favorite show) HBO’s Girls.

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January, I hate you!

Demon Kitty's Cold!

Demon Kitty’s Cold!

It’s official. It’s now so cold in New England that my penis has fully retracted inside me. I feel like Chaz Bono. This much penis retraction hasn’t happened since Rosie O’Donnell was cast as Betty Rubble.

In Boston it’s literally five degrees out right now. Five degrees! Even my sweet little, she-wolf, kitten, Geoffrey Whiskerbottoms, is upset. Little bitch practically clawed my face off when I pulled the covers off him this morning. It’s actually so cold I had to moisturize with Tapatio just to keep my skin looking alive today. Thank god things warm up next month from the HEAT of my birfday …Daddy’s turning 27 23! And as you all know, Daddy’s b-day is the event of the year.

Now where’s my flippin hot chocolate?!

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D-Nast gets 2 minutes of Stand Up

Soooo improv and sketch comedy are definitely more my thing, but like any good slut I’m open to try anything and everything.  Therefore, I participated in my second attempt at stand up last night. Once again, it was at Improv Boston’s lovely Wednesday night Comedy Lottery. How the night works is each comedian enters their name into a hat and whoever gets drawn gets to choke onstage. Normally, each comedian gets approximately 5-7 mins, but unfortunately tonight there were too many funny bitches in the house. My name got drawn pretty much last, leaving me a mere two minutes to sweat in front of the lights and pretend like I actually have something funny to say. Being it was the end of the night, I had lost my buzz and, god forbid, I had to perform sober! However, I pushed through and maybe, just maybe, got a laugh or two outta the sweet folks that came to watch. I definitely think I did better on my first night of stand up, but unfortunately, I can’t put that video online because I cruelly made fun of all my friends. Oops!

(P.S. for those of you that missed the previous performance, “Doc Johnson” was a big black dildo.)

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